[ Declare your emotional independence ]

I am very grateful for "The Guru Next Door" and the opportunity to learn more about the Option Method and its creator. It inspired me to do all I can …

[ Ekaterina Boga ] >

Articles.

Time and the Truth of Beliefs

[ Oct 7, 2013 ] [ by Bruce M. Di Marsico ]

People often experience that they dare not or should not deny their past experience. Past experience is hoped to be a teacher, a guide into the future. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. The Future is our real guide.

There is simply a question of truth as we learn it or become aware of new things. The past in itself is nothing to deny. It doesn't even exist. Past experience really refers to what I now hold as true, which I say I now hold as a residue of the past. It is like: I passed through a town and picked up souvenirs, which I now have as a remembrance of that event which is no longer. 

The value or usefulness of the souvenir (or remembrance) is either for direct use in the present or future as a thing in its own right (like a shawl from Spain or math principles from grade school, they may have a present or future use. They are memories perhaps but not valued as souvenirs) or for indirect use.

An indirect use is in associating or relating to other past events. Some things are used essentially to evoke past feelings and as emotional lessons. They are supposed to warn or promise about similar feelings in the future. The only actual result is a desire to avoid that which "caused" (evoked) bad feelings and the desire to repeat those kinds of events that produced (evoked) good feelings. Sufficient to say that one draws from the past whatever one wants. One picks and chooses the so-called lessons to suit the occasion.

The memories reflect a current belief which may have of course been acquired in the past. The so-called remembrance is a model sought out to support a belief.  The belief came from the past and now seeks out a past event in order to validate itself by evoking feelings of the “truth" of the belief. 

For example, the current belief "Death of a loved one is cause for mourning” could be supported by the memory "I cried when my bike broke," or "I felt terrible when I failed geography”, or "I was overwrought when  my mother died". Therefore the belief is true.

The truth from the past was a product of the beliefs of the past. Since even past experiences (no less than present ones) were subject to the beliefs involved they would have been the truth of what was believed, but not any truth-in-itself.

There is no reason, I suppose, why those beliefs should change, since inherent in believing them is the belief that they are true. By definition, a belief is held, because it is held as truth, and so is the basis for perception behavior in the future. The real truth is not that truth itself is the basis for perception and determines behavior, but that it is a belief that a belief is truly based on truth itself. 

The only way a belief can be changed, modified, replaced or dropped altogether is for it to be questioned or challenged and compared to another alternate belief. The person would then judge which of the two choices are truth. Incidentally this decision is usually based on that which can't be denied or what one “must” believe rather than on what one would like to believe. For example: I believed that I was a good child and loved my parents and they loved me. Now I am forced to admit that I am not a good and loving child and have made my parents not love me. This new belief is chosen instead of an alternate, which might be quite different: I am a good and loving child and do not want my parents to be unhappy. I did not make them unhappy. I make them happy. They are unhappy for nothing. They punish me for reasons which cannot be reasons to punish me. Or the truth may be: They punished me because they are unhappy after I broke my toy. They are showing me that they want to punish me because I broke my toy.

But it is not necessarily eternal truth that breaking a toy is an event the parent must be unhappy about (except, of course, that they must because of their wonderful other truths!). The parent’s unhappiness and consequent behavior (punishment) is an event which the child must believe he caused, or that he believes is proof that he is against himself and his own well-being.

The ultimate truth may be: 

They punish me. That is a truth about them. There is no truth that makes them do what they do. It is only true that they do what they do. It is only true that they think they follow truth. They are wrong, mistaken. 

A common myth is that "Consensus is truth": what others believe is based somehow on truth or they wouldn't believe it. The most common consensus “truth” is that the search for happiness is necessary and based on a “truth” that happiness is not immanently available and ever-present, since if it were everyone would be happy. If one does not have to do anything to avoid unhappiness then how is it to be avoided?

“Consensus as truth” boils down to: I believe what I believe because of the beliefs of others.

The second most common myth is the unquestioned belief that there is a truth to be known besides the truth I hold, that there are two truths: Good and Evil, Past and Future, Etc, Dichotomy after Dichotomy.

For a belief to be replaced by a belief that would allow more happiness there must at least be no belief that would prevent the new belief being allowed. For unhappy, "mistaken", or unwanted beliefs to be discarded there cannot be a belief that says that process is not allowed.

Is there a belief that one should not believe what one wants? Any preventive belief would have to be in some way questioned as to whether it is what a person really wants to believe any longer. The rational process of trying to demonstrate the error or accuracy is an exercise doomed by its own premise. People will either believe what they want or they will believe what they believe they must, which is then what they want.

People either believe or they don't.

This is not an unanswerable dilemma. The way out is very simple. Beliefs are not explored or examined or scrutinized or continuously judged. They are simply experienced. Once they are held as true they are forgotten, so to speak, but behavior follows from them.

A belief only needs to be exposed and the person can let themselves know if the belief they are holding is indeed what they really now believe. If it is, it will still provide the basis for action. If not it is automatically gone.

Since people believe they are not perfectly happy they also will believe that they can have mistaken beliefs and imperfect beliefs. Any behavior that can be seen as a product of a belief will change whether it is desired or not. Any belief that is seen as a belief will be dropped.

People do not believe that they are what they want to be, or have what they want, because they believe this to be so, but don't know that that is a belief. The unhappiness and dissatisfaction, the yearnings and hopes of all people are based on beliefs (predictions) and it doesn't really change the basic nature of the problem whether the belief is seen to be true or false. The problem is that there is believing. Any belief dissipates when exposed as a past belief. When the belief evaporates happiness emerges.

By analogy, when the cause of disease is cured, health fills the space left, as beliefs disappear at the sight of knowledge. Symptoms disappear when health returns. Disease ceases when proper functioning takes over. It is not true that disease prevents health and function. Lack of proper function allows disease.

Lack of truth allows superstition. superstition is not the cause of untruth. It is a product of the absence of truth.

Beliefs are not the antagonists of knowing truth but are only the symptom of its apparent absence. Unhappiness is not the enemy or preventer of self-happiness but rather, is the symptom. Yet it is not true that Truth, Health, Happiness are truly absent. They are hidden in a sense. They appear to believing people to be absent because they are not being manifested.

Truth is not necessarily a presentation of some abstract concept. Truth manifests itself by letting someone know that such and such is a belief.  That is truth. What is left is not truth itself but what is truly there.

Health manifests itself by allowing a person to know that the disease is not there. What the person experiences now is not Health itself as some principle, but themselves as truly healthy.  In other words they as they are unencumbered and not distorted by disease.

Happiness is the person coming to know that they are not unhappy. What is left is a happy person.

You are not unhealthy—you are cured. You do not believe any more and you know now you are not unhappy, you are glad. Beliefs don't argue with knowledge per se but with knowledge that is believed to be believed.

A belief that China is a South American country may argue with the truth that it is an Asian country but will never argue with the truth that its being in South America is a belief.

When we are dealing with things that do not need third party verification, and are either already within the person or not, it is quite sufficient that they only discard a belief. The truth they have already will take over.

You need never present anyone with the facts about themselves; they already have them and will see them when they know that what they have been seeing instead are beliefs.

A person who believes she is ugly will not believe she is beautiful unless it fits into other beliefs (like authority says so, consensus, etc). If she sees that the belief she is ugly is really a belief, at least a belief, the truth will out. Immediately you will find that she was not concerned with physiology or even the fact that many people have considered her ugly, but her real concern was what shall she allow for herself? What will she think? How will she act? What is she allowed to want based on the"fact" that she is ugly? When she saw it was a belief she immediately did not believe it was her belief but merely something she had believed. She sees immediately that all questions of ugliness are a matter of opinion, not fact, not a necessary determiner.

Unhappiness does not exist. The belief in it does. The prediction that you may in the future make a prediction (believe in unhappiness) is a prediction. You cannot know that you may do anything in particularyou only either know that you will or you don't know that you will. You either know you won't or you don't know you won't. You can onlybelieve (predict, guess) that you might. Since you are doing it now you must predict you may again. Since you are predicting what you don't know for sure you are predicting (guessing).

Unhappiness is predicting what you don't want to predict. It is predicting that you are not really wanting what you want. All unhappiness all comes down to predicting that you will act (behave) as if you knew that what you couldn't want is what will be.

You merely believe that you will believe and behave in a way that is based on a future you guessed would exist, and by that guess and the behavior based on it you will bring about the very future that you didn't want. 

You doing that which is not the way you want is you predicting that you will do what you know you do not want, and acting as if you knew it might come to pass.

You do not know that you might not get what you want. You are merely guessing. You don't have to. It makes you make more guesses. They make you make more. You make things happen that you don't want.

You do not want to predict a future of having any feelings or performing any behaviors that you don't want now. 

The only unhappiness there is, is not knowing the future and guessing that it might be what you won't want; which is guessing that it might be a future in which you will be unhappy and not getting what you want and are believing (guessing) that it might continue that way. The only unhappiness is believing that the future may not be what you want it to be. You don't know that.

You are guessing that you won't get what you want. You don't like that. You have been believing that is what you wanted to do.

Simply:

You are believing that you might want to know the future. Do you know that you will still want to know the future if you stop believing it may not be what you want?

You are guessing that the future may not be what you want for you: a future of future guessing about the future yet to come.

You know you will always do what you want but you were guessing that you may not or could not. When you were guessing you couldn't know how open you were.

You don't care what you'll want.

You don't care what you'll do.

You just want to know now that you'll do it.

You know now that you'll do whatever it is. You don't care. You're glad to want to do or want anything.

You never want to guess again. You don't care about right or wrong.

You're so fantastically open to the future. You'll do anything.

In the future, you have being you, and being able to know that even though you don't know anything about the future (and that is a glorious feeling) you know everything about it that you'll ever want to know.

You'll do anything because you'll be with the happiness you have.

Any future will be the future I want as long as I believe that I'll have my happiness, my awareness of myself being there to share it with whatever is happening.

I'm going to the future. Don't miss it.

I'm going to be there. See to it that you come. You wouldn't want to not be there. I'll be there. You can spot me. I'll be the one who is doing his thing, whatever happens.

I want what I want now. I don't know that I'm guessing at what I want. I am not going to guess that I may be guessing. It is not my wanting to guess, I am not guessing that I want my real wanting. I know I want myself to be me. I don't guess my wanting anymore. Here I am, this is me. I don't know what I don't know and I know what I love. I love "being here. I know who I love thinking of having here with me. I don't know about what I will want except I'll want it.

from The Myth of Unhappiness, Vol. 2

The Option Method is the second-best method I know of for being happy. The first-best method is simp…

The Option Method is the second-best method I know of for being happy. The first-best method is simply to be happy. What The Option Method is for is to help people examine why they believe they need to be unhappy.

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]