I have just come upon the Option Method and love the simplicity of [the] questions. They are true to human nature.[ Sarah S ] >
May Newsletter[ May 19, 2013 ]
Spring 2013 Newsletter
Join Wendy Dolber and Frank Mosca, PhD for an adventure in mind-expanding happiness.
Let Your Happiness Happen! Introduction to The Option Method is more than just a weekend workshop. It is an opportunity to explore the greatest tool for self-discovery and happiness that we know of.
Not familiar with The Option Method? Hear Frank Mosca Speaks about The Option Method.
Wendy is a wonderfully talented workshop leader. She carefully plans each session with an eye to providing all participants with the maximum opportunity for personal growth and development. Wendy is a thoughtful listener. She helps each workshop participant understand the core of their beliefs, so that they can clear a path to achieving their most important goals. Wendy is a committed teacher and writer. In all of her interactions and her writing, she expresses a passionate belief in helping others achieve a deeper understanding of what they want to achieve in all aspects of their lives. [Paul Stanwick, Program and Project Manager at Accenture]
If you have the least bit of unhappiness in your life then make every opportunity to learn from Wendy Dolber and Dr. Frank Mosca. [ Lionel Ketchian, Founder, Happinessclub.com ]
"If you have ever asked yourself what is the secret of life, or why am I here, or what does this all mean; if you have ever wondered whether there is something more; if you have ever sought eternity or heaven or peace; if you have ever laid on a beach or on the grass at night and stared in awe at the limitless, swirling universe at night; if you have ever sought the true, immortal, timeless nature of who you are; if you have ever sought your soul and your connection to all that is; if you have ever wanted to be truly free, then give yourself and your loved ones the gift of exploring Option Method." [Ira R.]
rI was immediately stunned by the technique. It seems to not only meet all my ‘ideal’ criteria — simple, fast, elegant, respectful, easy, fun, and powerful — but exceeds what I thought was possible . . . and that’s after using it only twice! I remain as dazzled as ever by the simple but extraordinary power and elegance of the questions. [ Vincent O, United Kingdom ]
The thing I liked most about Frank was that he said I am not the Way, Option is not the Way, but rather here are a set of tools for you to use as you want. So it was about turning over something to me as an active participant in creating my own happiness. I am responsible for myself and I am the authority over myself… [ Christine O, Educator ]
Click HERE to register.
Hurry, Don't Rush
I have decided to never rush again.
I spent years rushing, forever working on a deadline, cramming in hours of preparation for a meeting, a business trip, a project, you name it. Now that I have left that life and have my own business, setting my own schedule, guess what? I still rush on occasion. There's nothing wrong with rushing - we all do it from time to time. Except when you come to understand that rushing is a form of stress. When I rush, I tense my muscles, hold my breath a little (or a lot) and propel myself single-mindedly to my destination or completion of a task. It's not the way I want to live and it's bad for my health.
Sitting on a cross-town bus recently, which was crawling through traffic making me late for a doctor’s appointment, I could feel my breathing go shallow and my chest tighten up. I realized immediately that I was worried about missing my appointment and instantly decided I didn't want to worry. Just relax and breathe, I said, angst isn't going to make the bus move any faster. I did relax and even though I wasn't overly jazzed, just slightly enervated, guess what? When I got to the doctor, my blood pressure was 10 points higher than usual. Ten points that puts my blood pressure into the low high range. My doctor suggested I test my blood pressure at home and the same thing happened. When I rush, my blood pressure goes up. Even a little rushing for a little while elevates my blood pressure. Not fatal, but imagine what a daily regimen of rushing would do.
That's one of the reasons why I decided to trade in rushing for hurrying. There's a big difference between the two. Hurrying is simply moving fast. It's like breaking into a fast walk when you have been strolling along or breaking into a run from a fast walk. Like any aerobic exercise, this can elevate your heart rate and blood pressure temporarily as the increased volume of oxygen rich blood feeds your muscles. Over time, exercise can strengthen your heart as it works harder to feed your system. That's natural. In fact, for a healthy person, it's good for you.
But it’s a whole different ball game from what the stress of rushing does to your blood pressure. Stress causes your blood pressure to rise by releasing stress hormones into your system, which raise your heart rate and constrict your blood vessels, just the opposite of what happens in aerobic exercise. While this may be temporary, if it happens repeatedly, it may cause damage to blood vessels, raise blood pressure and contribute to heart disease. It's worth the effort to understand how stress and exercise affect your heart. As my blood pressure started to go up due to being out of shape and getting older no doubt, I wanted to do everything I could to improve my health without medication.
Stop the World.
So what can I do? I have already embarked on a great cardio and exercise program. Now I'm in great shape in that regard even though I have high markers for genetic heart disease. I am generally relaxed and happy, enjoying life with energy and exuberance. Yet there are those times when I see areas where I could be kinder to myself. Rushing is one of those areas. Aside from health concerns, rushing takes me out of the now. Since I've been observing my rushing behavior, I see that I miss opportunities when I am fixated on getting where I'm going or doing what I'm doing. A lot of those opportunities have to do with other people, who may also be doing their own version of rushing. Just yesterday a stranger caught me as I was on my way somewhere, asking how to get a taxi in my town. I did stop and helped her out, but even while I was with her, I was still in transit. Afterwards, I kept thinking about her and obviously still am. She was a hospital worker; she looked tired; she was carrying bundles. True, she could have asked me for more, but what matters is that I wanted to do more, perhaps even driving her to where she was going. How glorious that would have been - so unexpected for the both of us. Rushing even a little seals us off from each other as we catapult ourselves into doing. We don't see what is right in front of us. Like Castaneda's shaman Don Juan Matus, I want to "stop the world," derailing blind trajectory onto a new path of spectacular connection.
Can I decide just that like to stop rushing? How do I trade in the worry-fraught ordeal of rushing for the delicious energy of hurrying? Of course. Here's what I do:
1. Attend to any and all worry. Without worry, stress cannot exist. Without the belief that worry is necessary, worry cannot exist. I use The Option Method to drill down to the real reason for stress – the beliefs that I have to, should, must, and ought to be a certain way in order to make sure I am the way I want to be. I know that is a tongue twister – imagine what it does to your body, mind and spirit!
2. Once you do the above, the rest just reveals itself.
- Make the decision to hurry, not rush and know the reason why.
- Enjoy taking time for things.
- Arrange my day so that I have time to do the things I want to do.
- Allow myself the freedom to put things off until tomorrow or even indefinitely if I feel like it.
- If I am short on time, move with all deliberate speed in a relaxing flow of efficient energy.
- In fact, why not hurry more often just for fun.
- Always be in touch with all I am ever moving towards are my own self-created desires (no, others don't make me do anything).
- When I’m late, take responsibility for what I am responsible for and forget the rest.
- Be aware of how I move - relax my muscles, focus outside of myself, breathe, breathe, breathe.
- Let go and enjoy life!
To your health and happiness, Wendy Dolber
BLOGS YOU MAY HAVE MISSED
"Since there are no real (in the sense of 'happiness-preserving or -maintaining') reasons for doing, perhaps doing is a sign of me to me."
-Bruce M. Di Marsico
Compassion is the bottom line in The Option Method. That’s the absolute requirement and if you…
Compassion is the bottom line in The Option Method. That’s the absolute requirement and if you ever want to learn to do it for yourself, you’ve got to be at least as nice to you as you would be to others. You’ve got to know when you’re ready to deal with something and when you’re not. And you’ve got to know when you don’t want to question your unhappiness and when you’d be glad to. When you get unhappy enough you’ll be glad to.[ Bruce Di Marsico ]