[ Declare your emotional independence ]



The Option idea is a very powerful one and it has had a strong impact on my life.

[ John M ] >

Archive for: anxiety

+ Holidays bringing up painful memories? Here’s what to do.

[ Posted on 12.06.2016 ]

I love the holidays, especially Christmastime.  Whether I am alone or with family, I love the hustle and bustle of the season. The singing. The gift giving. The love. I’m not so crazy about the unrelenting merchandising that pops out earlier and earlier each year but I’ve gotten very good at tuning it out. I know that isn’t true for many others. I often hear people say, “I hate Christmas.” Or “This is the worst time of the year for me.” The reason is often because they are remembering some event that happened during the holidays. That was the time my husband died. Or a fire destroyed our home. Or I lost a child. If you have someone like this in your life, what can you do to help them through this time of year (or any time of year)? What can you do to help yourself? One. Deal with…

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+ What are you holding on to when you hold on to anger?

[ Posted on 05.17.2016 ]

Time heals all wounds, or so it is said. Think about a time when you grieved every day over the loss of a loved one. Think about something that made you so angry you couldn’t stop thinking about it. What about that embarrassing moment so long ago that you thought you would never get over? Do you still feel the same way today? Chances are as with so many things, with time, things change, memories fade and we move on. Unless we don’t. You’re fine until the anniversary of the death of a loved one. You’re at peace until someone reminds you about that thing that made you so angry. You find yourself sharing in the embarrassment of others a little too empathically. If time truly heals all wounds, why are we still suffering? With time, new experiences and the relevancy of the event to daily life, we do move…

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+ Will your real self please stand up!

[ Posted on 02.18.2016 ]

Why do so many of us view our real self as the one who instigates pain, blame and guilt?  As the one who is haunted by the fear of what might be?  As the one who is responsible for all our emotional foibles,  missteps, angst and sufferings? Can we know that we play a part in our unhappiness without considering it to be our natural default and the totality of who we are?  Where does our happiness fit in?  Is it also a reflection of our real self? Bruce Di Marsico put it this way – “Since to be truly happy we must believe we can be, we have to see this quality as one of our own, as coming from our real self.  We have to know that we wouldn’t be wanting to be happy unless it was about to emerge from us.  Where we are now and are…

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+ No Way Out: Are You Stuck in Unhappiness?

[ Posted on 02.26.2014 ]

Psst.  Today I want to tell you about a secret about unhappiness. Something that you can use to free yourself. Think about those times when you’ve been caught up in feeling sad, depressed, angry, miserable, frustrated – you name it – and you just can’t imagine being happy again. Perhaps you can’t even remember the last time you were happy. Perhaps it seems as if you are in a deep, dark tunnel that has no light at the end of it. Or lost in a maze with no apparent exit. You might even be asking yourself – how will I ever stop this? – when will I be happy again? – how do I break out of this cycle of misery? Here’s a secret that may help you. It’s the nature of unhappiness to believe that there is no way out. I’ll say it again. It is the nature of…

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+ The freedom not to change

[ Posted on 09.22.2013 ]

“Can you ever do something you shouldn’t have done?  Will you ever do something you shouldn’t have done?  Could you ever ‘play’ yourself wrong?  How could you not be perfect? Perfect people aren’t wedded to anything except what they feel like being wedded to.  Since I am perfect, I could never change, or I could always change.  It is not imperative for me to change anything, so I could continue exactly the way I am, and that would be perfect, and it would be perfect, also, to change. Real freedom doesn’t mean change.  Real freedom means the freedom to not change as well.  Isn’t it true that nothing needs to be different?  Then everything’s perfect, right now, already.  The different between feeling the whole world is perfect, and not feeling it, is feeling that something needs to be changed (‘feel means believe’).  There are things I want you to change,…

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The principle of The Option Method is to take unhappiness from that vague cloud of confusion and tha…

The principle of The Option Method is to take unhappiness from that vague cloud of confusion and that which just happens to you by fate and bad genetics or whatever, and bring it down to the real dynamics that cause emotions, your beliefs and your judgments, and that people who want to get happier and happier don’t need to do this all the time.

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]