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You likely wont be surprised to hear that reading [Bruces book] was one of the most profound experiences of my life. I go through 30 pages the first…

[ Sue K ] >

Archive for: Wendy Dolber

+ Are stress and sleep related?

[ Posted on 03.16.2018 ]

I remember when I was a kid and well into my 30s, I slept like a hibernating bear.  Twelve hours was nothing to me. At least on the weekends. During the work week, I’d get by on half of that and pretty much always felt sleep deprived. But when I slept, I slept well. I’m not sure at what point my sleep patterns changed, but now I could never sleep that much. I typically log in 7-8 hours, but very rarely is it straight-through sleep. That’s fine as long as I go back to sleep and most often I do. But then there are those nights when I just can’t seem to drop off again for a long time. Apparently, I’m not alone. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, 8 out of 10 adults experience some type of sleep difficulty, either trouble falling or staying asleep and…

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+ Does change have to be stressful?

[ Posted on 03.13.2018 ]

Things change and we’re not always ready for it.  Yesterday you had a job you thought you could depend upon; today you’re out of work.  You thought your marriage was fine; now you’re facing divorce.   You thought you were in good health; now you know you need major surgery.    You just became the victim of identity theft.   Your house just burned down.  You lost half your savings in the stock market. These are tough challenges.  You may have faced some of these yourself or others like them.  All of these circumstances represent those times in our lives when things change quickly or significantly.  Circumstances that we often feel unprepared for.    That are on our list of “least wanted” things to happen.    All of these situations can certainly stop us in our tracks and turn our life as we know it upside down. But the worst part of all can…

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+ Can The Option Method help with guilt and shame?

[ Posted on 02.16.2018 ]

Our focus this month has been on guilt and shame, two sides of the coin of self judgment.  Do you know the difference?  Check out Google “What is the difference between Guilt and Shame?”  and you will find more than 10 million entries. Brene Brown has a simple way to define it: “the difference between shame and guilt is the difference between ‘I am bad’ and ‘I did something bad’.” I’d go further and say both guilt and shame stem from the belief that I am bad.  Saying I did something bad – in the sense that we feel guilty (or bad) about it, is the same as saying I am bad. Otherwise we would never feel bad about it. We would simply observe – Oh I did something that caused xyz to happen. Think about something you feel guilty about and ask yourself this question: If I didn’t feel…

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+ Is it ever too late to be grateful?

[ Posted on 11.05.2017 ]

Growing up in my family we rarely expressed gratitude to each other – or any other positive feelings for that matter. It was the old school of family relationships – children should be seen and not heard. Adults don’t share feelings with children. I’m sure we felt gratitude. I know I did. When I came home from school to find my new Brownie uniform with beanie and red plastic purse. When my mother didn’t yell at me for having a temper tantrum and slamming a door so hard the glass shattered. When she bought me a typewriter (yes, I am that old) the Christmas before I left for college. I know I probably thanked my mother in some way. Excitement for the uniform – a sheepish little smile for the smashed glass – a hug for my Christmas present. But I’m not sure any of those times really qualify as…

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+ Can we talk to the dead?

[ Posted on 05.22.2017 ]

On a windy hill in Japan where the 100 year-old city of Otsuchi used to be, there stands an old fashioned English styled phone booth. Inside is a black rotary phone on a wooden shelf. It is connected to nothing. Or is it? People come from miles away – thousands of them – to talk to their loved ones lost in the tsunami of 2011. They weep. They give the update of their lives. They apologize for lost opportunities. They send hopes that the loved one is eating, staying warm, finding their way home. Does it help? For some families, it is the first time they talked about the loved one as a family – the first time a child has even spoken at all. For Itaru Sasaki, who erected the phone booth after the death of his beloved cousin even before the tsunami wiped away 19250 people – “Because my…

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Happiness is the feeling of freedom to the nth degree.

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]