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I was immediately stunned by the technique. It seems to not only meet all my ideal criteria simple, fast, elegant, respectful, easy, fun, and powe…

[ Vincent O ] >

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+ Does change have to be stressful?

[ Posted on 03.13.2018 ]

Things change and we’re not always ready for it.  Yesterday you had a job you thought you could depend upon; today you’re out of work.  You thought your marriage was fine; now you’re facing divorce.   You thought you were in good health; now you know you need major surgery.    You just became the victim of identity theft.   Your house just burned down.  You lost half your savings in the stock market. These are tough challenges.  You may have faced some of these yourself or others like them.  All of these circumstances represent those times in our lives when things change quickly or significantly.  Circumstances that we often feel unprepared for.    That are on our list of “least wanted” things to happen.    All of these situations can certainly stop us in our tracks and turn our life as we know it upside down. But the worst part of all can…

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+ Can The Option Method help with guilt and shame?

[ Posted on 02.16.2018 ]

Our focus this month has been on guilt and shame, two sides of the coin of self judgment.  Do you know the difference?  Check out Google “What is the difference between Guilt and Shame?”  and you will find more than 10 million entries. Brene Brown has a simple way to define it: “the difference between shame and guilt is the difference between ‘I am bad’ and ‘I did something bad’.” I’d go further and say both guilt and shame stem from the belief that I am bad.  Saying I did something bad – in the sense that we feel guilty (or bad) about it, is the same as saying I am bad. Otherwise we would never feel bad about it. We would simply observe – Oh I did something that caused xyz to happen. Think about something you feel guilty about and ask yourself this question: If I didn’t feel…

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+ Is it ever too late to be grateful?

[ Posted on 11.05.2017 ]

Growing up in my family we rarely expressed gratitude to each other – or any other positive feelings for that matter. It was the old school of family relationships – children should be seen and not heard. Adults don’t share feelings with children. I’m sure we felt gratitude. I know I did. When I came home from school to find my new Brownie uniform with beanie and red plastic purse. When my mother didn’t yell at me for having a temper tantrum and slamming a door so hard the glass shattered. When she bought me a typewriter (yes, I am that old) the Christmas before I left for college. I know I probably thanked my mother in some way. Excitement for the uniform – a sheepish little smile for the smashed glass – a hug for my Christmas present. But I’m not sure any of those times really qualify as…

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+ Can we talk to the dead?

[ Posted on 05.22.2017 ]

On a windy hill in Japan where the 100 year-old city of Otsuchi used to be, there stands an old fashioned English styled phone booth. Inside is a black rotary phone on a wooden shelf. It is connected to nothing. Or is it? People come from miles away – thousands of them – to talk to their loved ones lost in the tsunami of 2011. They weep. They give the update of their lives. They apologize for lost opportunities. They send hopes that the loved one is eating, staying warm, finding their way home. Does it help? For some families, it is the first time they talked about the loved one as a family – the first time a child has even spoken at all. For Itaru Sasaki, who erected the phone booth after the death of his beloved cousin even before the tsunami wiped away 19250 people – “Because my…

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+ What can an arctic expedition teach us about happiness?

[ Posted on 05.15.2017 ]

If you’ve been around the Happiness watercooler for awhile, I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “Life is a journey, not a destination,”  certainly not a new idea – thank you, Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882). Whatever the destination is – health, wealth, great relationships, inner peace – the idea is to enjoy the journey now and not delay enjoyment unless and/or until the end result or the ideal result is achieved. But what is this journey called life? What are we all striving for at the end of the day? Here’s a story that answers that question so beautifully: Imagine taking on an 1800 mile trek slogging over ice, rocks and crannies, through wind, white out conditions and sub zero temperatures. You spend all day every day out in the open where the sun doesn’t set, dragging behind you a 400 pound sled full of provisions. Day after day for 105 days from the coast of…

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What Is the Purpose or Meaning of Life? Each person will answer this for himself or herself. How you…

What Is the Purpose or Meaning of Life? Each person will answer this for himself or herself. How you answer determines how you live. This life means your life. It does not have to be other than what it is. But since all want true happiness by whatever name, one could suppose that unless the decided purpose of your life is happiness, it would not seem to be a happy life unless you had what you wanted.

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]