[ Declare your emotional independence ]

The Teleclass was awesome! Just being virtually surrounded by Happy people and listening to them talk endlessly about their experience of Happiness an…

[ Gabriel B. ] >


  • Book Excerpt: From Wendy Dolber's upcoming book: Making Space for Happiness

    [ Jul 2, 2020 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    How to be your own best friend and the best friend anybody ever had   Imagine if you had a friend with the insight and knowledge to help you unravel all your problems – a friend that you could always turn to when you are stuck emotionally, spiritually and practically. That friend would …

  • Book Excerpt: The Guru Next Door. Option Method Dialogue on Insomnia

    [ Mar 16, 2018 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

      The “library group,” as Bruce called it, met in a small town library on Long Island. He would make the drive every Wednesday afternoon, cruising over a network of highways, tunnels, and bridges in his large comfortable car, drinking Pepsi and smoking cigarettes while he prepared …

  • Book excerpt: The Book of Is by Frank Mosca

    [ Feb 13, 2017 ] [ by Frank Mosca, PH.D. ]

    So, again, are all things connected? Yes, that makes sense to me. But what does that entail? What are the implications of that? Problems arise when the concept of the one and the many is prejudiced in favor of either one. It is not the one or the many but the one as many and the many as one in all c…

  • Don't be a supposed-to child for the holidays

    [ Dec 6, 2016 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    Raise your hand if you think the holidays bring out the best and worst in us. It always seems that by the time Thanksgiving rolls around, the year seems to circle the drain at breakneck speed. So much to do — so little time. The lives of past holidays flash before our eyes as we try to focus o…

  • Procrastination is making me wait - 6 steps to move forward

    [ Jan 7, 2016 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    So here we are again - another January -  the top of a new year shiny with possibilities - time to press our reset button.  So what did you sign up for as the old year slipped into history?  Losing those extra ten pounds; going to the gym three times a week; walking that 10,000 steps…

  • How Do I Find My Purpose

    [ Jul 17, 2014 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    If you are looking for your purpose, you’re in good company. I Googled the question: What is my purpose? -  and came up with a whopping 1 billion 230 million responses. 1 billion 230 million. Wow. That’s almost 18% of the world’s population talking about how to find our life&r…

  • No Way Out: The Illusion of Unhappiness

    [ Jul 17, 2014 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    Psst.  Today I want to tell you a secret about unhappiness. Something that you can use to free yourself.  Think about those times when you’ve been caught up in feeling sad, depressed, angry, miserable, frustrated - you name it – and you just can’t imagine being happy aga…

  • Love the one you're with: you!

    [ Jan 13, 2014 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    Love you much? What do you think about you? Would you say you're your kind of person? Does thinking about you put a warm glow in your heart? Are you okay with you? In love with you? Your own best friend? Or, is that little jury in your inner courtroom always in session? Are you constantly judging a…

  • Valuing Unhappiness

    [ Jan 6, 2014 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    Do you value unhappiness?  This can be a challenging question to be sure, but one that can open a pathway to new ways of seeing yourself and others. This question goes right to heart of why people are unhappy.  No matter what the circumstance - losing a job or a lover or a set of keys. &n…

  • Make gratitude a family value this Thanksgiving

    [ Nov 19, 2013 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    Thanksgiving is right around the corner now. Friends and families are planning and gathering for the day. Is it going to be turkey, or goose, or maybe we'll even try turducky! How many side dishes this year? Remember last year we forgot the broccoli! Do we really have to have candied yams and mashed…

  • Time and the Truth of Beliefs

    [ Oct 7, 2013 ] [ by Bruce M. Di Marsico ]

    People often experience that they dare not or should not deny their past experience. Past experience is hoped to be a teacher, a guide into the future. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. The Future is our real guide. There is simply a question of truth as we learn it or become awar…

  • A brief primer on beliefs

    [ Jun 17, 2013 ] [ by Frank Mosca, PH.D. ]

    The experience of believing is at the heart of what The Option Method is all about. Remember, the Method exists precisely because beliefs exist, beliefs in all and any forms of unhappiness that is of course. Identifying and challenging beliefs with the goal of releasing yourself from their grip is t…

  • Get your daily minimum requirement of nothingness

    [ May 26, 2013 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    One of the most gorgeous poems I have ever heard is by Franz Kafka. It goes like this: You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmaske…

  • Doubts, Signs and Rituals

    [ Feb 18, 2013 ] [ by Bruce M. Di Marsico ]

    Doubts, Signs and Rituals February 15, 1974 The heart, in its ever-seeking to manifest its perfection to itself, seeks and makes occasions for affirmation of its goodness and perfection. When we begin on the path of new life, we want to establish a firm hold on our new beliefs in happiness. While …

  • Book Excerpt: To Love is to be Happy

    [ Feb 11, 2013 ] [ by Bruce M. Di Marsico ]

    To Love Is To Be Happy And Do What You Want. Be with. Don’t be with. Smile. Don’t smile. Be loving. Don’t be loving. Be affectionate. Don’t be affectionate. Give or say what you want. Take or ask for what you want. Do your own thing. If the one you love gets unhappy, it&rsq…

  • Book Excerpt: Trying

    [ Nov 27, 2012 ] [ by Bruce M. Di Marsico ]

    Trying is not believing that if I can do something, and I want to do something, I will do it (naturally, with no greater motivation needed). Trying is believing that that which I can only do by wanting, I can't do by only wanting. I must exert more effort than I want to. The exertion of effort cance…

  • Make friends with your bogeyman

    [ May 3, 2012 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    We humans love our spooky stories.  Like moths to the flame, we can’t resist the spine-tingling scariness of a good legend, myth or bugaboo.  When you were a child, were you afraid of creatures that might be hiding under your bed?  Or in the closet?  Did your parents always…

  • The Perfect Diet: Joyful Indulgence

    [ Dec 23, 2011 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    What’s your favorite holiday food? Love a cup of rum-laced eggnog? Can’t wait to dig into that baked ham with pineapple slices? That perfectly cooked prime rib or luscious roast duck? Looking for a little alone time with the pastry cart or late night refrigerator raids of homemade apple …

  • Who Needs Utopia When We Can Be Happy? The philosophical context of The Option Method

    [ Jul 31, 2011 ] [ by Frank Mosca, PH.D. ]

    What philosophical camp or framework does The Option Method fit into?  This a great question that comes up as people hear about OM and may ask themselves: so what’s different about this perspective? Why would I pay attention or spend time getting more fully acquainted with it? Isn’t…

  • Perfectionism

    [ Apr 15, 2011 ] [ by Frank Mosca, PH.D. ]

    I think it is fair to say that when a person encounters a new way of looking at the world, they find it difficult to enter into it completely. Rather they attempt to translate their new experience into the coordinates of the old, more habitual way of seeing the world. So too with Option, as Bruce n…

  • What Anger Doesn't Do

    [ Apr 4, 2011 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    Anger doesn’t change anyone.   It doesn’t make your kids listen to you.   Or do their homework.   Or stop texting at dinner.  It doesn’t make your spouse or significant other love you any more than they already do.  Or guess what you want.&nb…

  • Maybe, perhaps [I can be happy!]

    [ Mar 31, 2011 ] [ by Frank Mosca, PH.D. ]

    Anyone who was privileged to know Bruce Di Marsico and to listen to the many hours of his early years sharing The Option Method cannot help but be struck by the repetition of two particular words: “Maybe, perhaps.” These words were a hallmark of the profound respect he had for anyon…

  • Consider the Possibilities

    [ Mar 30, 2011 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    Can you find the two letter “Bs” in the group of letters above? Try visualizing the B in your mind first, then look. Make a difference? It did for me. When I focused on the Rs, the Bs were hard to find. But as soon as I fixed a B in my mind first, they popped out at me. My eye went right…

  • Judging Unhappiness

    [ Mar 30, 2011 ] [ by Wendy Dolber ]

    Have you ever been in a roomful of people who appear to be enjoying themselves and wondered why you aren’t. Everyone else seems relaxed and happy, but you feel uncomfortable and out of sorts. You can’t imagine connecting with anybody and you start to wonder what’s wrong with you. M…


When we want to feel a certain way, let us look closely. We will find that we have actually begun to…

When we want to feel a certain way, let us look closely. We will find that we have actually begun to feel that way. To decide is really to discover that what we want to feel we are beginning to feel. To decide means “Don’t decide for the past—the future is beginning."

[ Bruce Di Marsico ]