CALL: 973.714.2800


How Does It Work?

The Option Method is designed to get the root of any problem every time by recognizing that you have a choice in your own emotional state. Underneath all unhappiness, whether it is the simplest annoyance or the most paralyzing fear, there is a tiny voice saying, “I have to feel the way I feel. This is happening to me.” The Option Method helps you drill down through the mystery and confusion of unhappiness so you can hear what you are really saying to yourself. Then you can begin to question your unhappiness in a way that was never possible before. 


The Option Method Dialogue is where the essential teachings of The Option Method take place. Lectures, workshops, discussions, readings and exercises can help lay the groundwork for effective application of The Option Method, but the learning that is most relevant to each individual takes place in dialogue work.


The Option Method Dialogue is a compassionate, nonjudgmental open ended inquiry that flows from a particular view of human emotions, The Option Method Attitude.  The starting point of  the Attitude recognizes that our beliefs, not events, are the cause of unhappiness. We all strive to be happy, but when we don’t believe we can be, we do the next best thing, which is often a form of unhappiness.


Therefore, the Option Method Dialogue is essentially an open-ended, loving, non-judgmental inquiry into the cause of unhappiness for each individual with the recognition that each person has the choice to believe as they do and ultimately choose their own emotions.

The essential elements of the dialogue are to identify and clarify exactly what the unhappiness is about, using such questions as:

What are you unhappy (personalize with your own word) about?
What is there about that, that makes you unhappy?
Then, asking questions designed to find out your specific reasons for being unhappy, such as:
Why (for what reason) are you unhappy about that?
What are you afraid would happen if you were not unhappy about that?
What are you afraid it would mean if you were not unhappy about that?


And, ultimately, questioning the reason for the belief, such as:
Why do you believe that?
Why do you believe being happy would be bad for you right now?
The end result of the Option Method Dialogue reveals exactly what you’re unhappy about:

  • Why you are unhappy
  • Why you believe you have to be unhappy
  • Why you believe it would be bad for you to be happy
  • The choices you have made that led to your unhappiness
  • The fears you have about your ability to be stop being unhappy
  • How your specific feelings are tied to specific beliefs
  • What you really want and were not realizing
The Option Method Dialogue

In other words, the Option Method Dialogue takes you from the point of unconscious suffering to conscious liberation. It shows you the true cause and way out of all your unhappiness.


We have included samples to show exactly how an Option Method Dialogue unfolds.